Time

"I must govern the clock, not be governed by it."   Golda Meir

As Prime Minister Golda Meir reflects, I like all of us, can march in rhythm of our own drum and not let others dictate the rhythm of their drum.  Now I know this is harder said than done, but I am trying to achieve this.
There was a time, before cancer struck me, that the moments of time in my life made sense.  I know who I was, where I was going, why I was on the path, and when I could expect to get there.  Now that I have cancer a lot of these time journeys are fulled with uncertainties.
When I found out I had stage 4 breast cancer, I realized that I was exhausted from dragging my heavy suitcase of time. (Also known as the rat race.)  At that point my husband and I decided to retire from the rat race.  I finally told myself to slow down.  The problem was it so hard to go from running to walking.  I found out that I was racing through life as if I didn't have a moment of time to waste.
Now, after three years,  it's getting easier to slow down and smell the roses, as they say.  When I do get panicked about time, I remind myself "There is no time but now!"